Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
