she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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