My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
