I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
