i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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