i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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