So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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