New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
