If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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