i will never coherently bang her
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
