I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
