Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize