do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My vagina just recognized that song.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
