I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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