i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm drive I can fine osifer
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.