I'm retarded. Again.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?