My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.