i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?