what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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