The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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