Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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