C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
