So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize