Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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