Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just cropdusted the office
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
