I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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