I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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