HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize