So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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