remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
