Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
