Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
