Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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