i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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