Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
