his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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