she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize