Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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