i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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