We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize