A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
