does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill