Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?