i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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