we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
