please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Barsexuality is the new black.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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