I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
