We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
