ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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