So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
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I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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