Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
