the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
