Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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