dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
