The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
