The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
