OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
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She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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