drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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