ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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