Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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