You can't motorboat a personality
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
