It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize