She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
