trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
