They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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