He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
someone owes me an orgasm
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
