You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize