I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my poor anus
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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